I am sitting on the balcony of my buree in Fiji, alone. It is day 3 of my solo trip and I am getting used to not really talking to anyone. As every mother would understand the constant daily talk and negotiation from morning till night can be exhausting, yet, take it away and it can take a little while to get used to. No plans, no routine, no schedule, no one to organise, just me, palm trees and space for a little relaxation. Have I decided to write this piece to rub it in that I am on holiday and you are not? That I have time away from my 9 to 5 and you don’t? It may seem that way but what I really want you to look at is how you have the capability to be the master of your own creation.
You are a woman, you are a mother, you are amazing. You and I both know that if you put your mind to something you make it happen. The job, the career, the baby, the new home, the body….. we both know that if you want it bad enough you will structure your life, your routine and your energy into making it happen. So why is it that so many mothers are tired, struggling and feel like life just happens to them on a daily basis? They are on the merry go round of breakfasts, and school runs, activities and playdates, feeding and homework and bath times and bed; each day ending the same as the one before it – exhausted and bored with the repetition. Are you the master of this creation?
Take a moment to step back from your life, have you become the person who makes everything happen but generally rides in the backseat? Do you put everyone else wants and needs ahead of your own allowing your personal plans or desires to fall by the wayside if something else comes up? Can you count on one hand that last time you did something for yourself in the last month? Do you raise your children with the thought that no-one else, not even your partner, can do what you do in the way that you do it? I heard a saying some time ago that resonated with me – granted it took a little while to sink in and sit easy but I now try to carry it along with me in certain areas of my life; “learn to be satisfied with good enough”. Now for someone who likes to ensure everything is ‘just so’ this takes effort on a daily basis, but what it is also showing me is that sometimes others that have more time or energy to do what I am doing may actually do it better than me, and if they don’t do it better it doesn’t matter because it is done and I can cross it off my to-do list and spend time on something else.
So when Dad is on baby watch, leave him to it, go do something else – go do something for you. The world won’t end because a nappy is put on backward.
As a working mum I have a constant internal battle about whether I am doing the right thing for my children by going out to work, by building my business, by being away from them. I also know that if I didn’t spend the time away from them that I do that I wouldn’t be a very nice mummy. I am a woman, I have children, I love my children but that is not all that I am; I am a person in my own right, I have energy and passion to create my dreams, I am a business woman, I am fit, I am healthy, I am strong AND I am a mother. I am the master of my own creation.
Within my profession I see so many women that allow their own health and fitness to take a backseat to life, what they don’t realise is that when health and fitness are given a front seat then life becomes so much easier. Often it is the first thing that is dropped in the name of a busy schedule when it really should be the one thing that you hang onto with everything that you have, because if you are fit and healthy and GIVE YOURSELF that time you are committing to yourself on a daily basis and creating a fit and healthy family around you – you are the master of your own creation and the master of theirs.
So in summary; I am here in Fiji, do I feel guilty that I have left my husband to look after our children solo for a week? Do I feel sad that I won’t tuck my babies into bed at night for a week? YES…… but I also know that this mummy needed a break, a break from being a mummy, from working, from life so I have to learn to push that guilt aside in the knowledge that I can come back a better mummy. And for you; I am not suggesting you all get up and leave for a week (though I think that would be a great idea – we could start a revolution!) leaving your child for an hour a day while you exercise (or do something else valuable to you) or restructuring your week to fit in your training (to the sacrifice of a kiddie activity) isn’t a bad thing – you can feel the guilt then choose to leave it behind as you have the power to be the master of your own creation and to take control of what happens to you on a daily basis (within reason of course…. There are children involved).
Our Body Beyond Baby, Find Your Summer Body 8 Week Challenge see’s you commit to exercise with us on four days per week and take control of your other training days – sound like a lot? We are human beings and we were designed to move on a daily basis – four days per week may feel like a challenge to begin with but I know you can do it and I also know you just need that little kick up the bum to commit to yourself and to begin your journey as the master of your own creation.
To register your interest in our Find Your Summer Body - 8 Week Challenge please email me here and I will be sure to let you know as soon as registrations are open.
Good on you Jen for taking some time for yourself and I agree when you are happy, then so will your family be! As a mother of 4 (though they are older than your little ones) I keep trying to re-enforce to them that they are part of our wee community (of our family) and that everyone -including me - has their own interests and everyone - including me - is entitled to the time to do them!
I get them to put their hand up if they want to dedicate their lives to everyone else's needs and never attend to their own.
It helps with that notion that they all have to contribute to the running of the house so that we can all have time to ourselves!
Do I feel guilty about that? Hell no!
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