Monday, July 1, 2013

Guest Blog - by Pei-Shan Wu: A Healthy Relationship Revitalises You

I often talk about Happy Mummy = Happy Baby and I also believe a happy mummy and happy baby contributes to a happy family but sometimes we forget that our relationship takes time and effort too.

Here is a great guest blog from Pei-Shan Wu, Mother of Three (Plus One), Relationship Advocate and owner of Both Sides of the Story - giving kids happy mums and dads.

Why Does Your Relationship Matter?

Relationship matters because of two very important reasons: children learn relationship skills from you, and a healthy relationship can revitalise you

Your children learn relationship skills from you:  Many couples relationships go through a deep dive down after having kids. The busy world of parenthood makes it difficult to look after ourselves, never mind our relationship with our partner. Quite often, 'spending time with my partner' becomes an item at the bottom of our to-do-list which rarely gets ticked off.

Leaving relationship at the bottom of our priority list may seem like a necessary sacrifice when we become parents. But while we allow each other to drift apart, and ignore the increasing communication problems and conflicts,  our children are also missing out on learning important relationship skills.

Through watching how parents interact with other, children learn the building blocks of healthy relationships: love, friendship, acceptance, appreciation, and respect. Through watching your interaction with your partner, children learn how to establish boundaries, respect other people's limits, accept people for who they are, express love and appreciation, and maintain strong friendships (which is the backbone of relationships).

When we become parents, we tend to put our children's needs above all, and our own needs last. But it is important to keep yourself energised – you will enjoy parenting more, and your children will enjoy you more. Relationship therapist, Jacqueline Hellyer called it 'selfish selflessness'. Making sure you have enough sleep, eat properly, and exercise are all important things to do to keep your energy level up. When you have a healthy relationship where you feel loved, appreciated and respected, it will certainly boost your energy as well.

Research has told us that the release of our brain chemical oxytocin makes us feel loved, bonded, euphoric and happy. Sounds like a drug you wouldn't mind having? The simple gestures of affection – kissing, caressing, and holding hands increase the release of oxytocin in our brain. Make a date and get some oxytocin into you!

Need more relationship building tips? Visit and get your free download 'The 5 Common Mistakes Couples Make and How You Can Avoid Them'.

Both Sides of the Story is holding their upcoming event 'Happy Relationship, Happy Family' on Sunday 14 July at Macquarie University. 

You will learn from 5 of Australia's top relationship therapists on how to build healthy relationship foundations, plus receive a goodie bag with over $100 worth of product samples and discount vouchers. 

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